Taking a Long Vacation:

to be with my daughters and granddaughter and sister and their men. I'll be back though... hopefully relaxed and ready to share lots more! See you April 12th or so!

What A Difference A Week Makes:

I looked out my front door and took a photo. Seven days later I went back to my front door and took another photo.

Last Sunday, March 21, I awoke to snow and 31 degree temperatures... this Sunday, March 28, I awoke to blooming & budding and 72 degree temperatures. Hello Spring 2010!

Get Your Motor Runnin':

I have a hard time listening to music of 1969-2005... the years my late husband and I spent together. So when I'm in the car and don't have my ipod, I listen to talk radio -- conservative talk radio. (I am in love with Dennis Prager, Hugh Hewitt, Bill Bennett, and Dennis Miller.)

A few months ago though, I had to drive my young son-in-law's truck for a couple of hours and the radio was tuned to Lone Star 92.5 FM. Instead of switching stations, I listened to it for a while. It didn't take me long to realize that this was a hardcore guy's radio station. I had to laugh... everything about it was geared toward men. The advertising included Nascar, rock concerts, trucks, Monster Jam, Autrama, Harley Bike Nite... you get the picture. The music included rock groups like Def Leppard, Black Sabbath, Led Zepplin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Journey, Tom Petty, Queen, U2, Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, and The Eagles. And the announcers talked about a variety of "manly" things, mostly sports. It was like inhaling Old Spice, dirty locker rooms, and puppy dog tails!

I'm curious to know out how many listeners they have and what their marketing data collection looks like. But why do I think this is so funny? I guess if there are "chick flicks" there can be macho radio stations as well!

The Hands of Time:
I just want to say that I hate Daylight Saving Time. For some reason this year it has a hold on me that I can't shake off.

Every Spring we move our clocks one hour ahead and "lose" an hour during the night. Each Fall we move our clocks back one hour and "gain" an extra hour. But Daylight Saving Time (no, it's not Daylight Savings Time with an "s") wasn't just created to confuse our schedules. "The change to Daylight Saving Time allows us to use less energy in lighting our homes by taking advantage of the longer and later daylight hours."

I'm not doing a good job of springing forward. I may use less energy lighting my home at night, but it also means I use more energy lighting it in the morning! To the DST gods: I do not need the extra hour of sunlight at the end of the day... what I need is the extra hour of darkness in the morning! Give me a break!

You know what's going to happen, don't you? In the Fall -- in eight months -- when it's time to fall back, I'm going to write how happy I am with Daylight Saving Time.

A Winking Eye & Winking Stars:

I've been "on the go" these past few months, every day and weekend packed with places to visit and people to see... Getaways and Retreats, Mini-cations and Obli-cations. I was looking forward to working in the yard this weekend but because rain and cold weather are in the forecast, looks like I'll be doing lots of nothing... well, maybe some gumbo making, painting, and book reading!

I have been reading a lot lately -- in between all the going -- can you tell?! I go to bed with words racing around inside my skull and wake up with the sure knowledge that I've been dreaming in meter and rhyme. My feet stumble getting out of bed because my mind is so preoccupied that I can't gather a single message to tell them how to move. Something has definitely loosened my hibernating brain... which reminds me of a favorite quote:

"But then they danced down the street like dingledodies,

and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life

after people who interest me,

because the only people for me are the mad ones,

the ones who are mad to live,

mad to talk, mad to be saved,

desirous of everything at the same time,

the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing,

but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles

exploding like spiders across the stars

and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop

and everybody goes 'Awww!'"

~ Jack "Ti Jean" Kerouac, On the Road

Happy St. Patrick's Day:

With a heavy brogue I want to say, "Top of the mornin' to ya!" but read recently that Irishmen don't use that greeting... ever! It's New Zealanders slang; has to do with being on the bottom of the world but believing they are on "top of the world" or something. Anyway, I guess my little Hallmark leprechaun is from New Zealand, huh?

Erin Go Bragh... Can I say that? I dunno. It means "Ireland until eternity." Since I'm Scotch-Irish, I guess it would make one side of my ancestral line happy. And did you know that this holiday (holy day?) commemorates the death of St. Patrick? Seems a bit morbid.

All I know is that today means lots of people will be wearing green, drinking green beer, eating cornbeef & cabbage & carrots & potatoes & soda bread, having parades (St. Paddy or Gay Pride), and celebrating life in general. Sounds good to me... Cead mile failte, ya'll!

Cursillo:

Going to find my "Thin Place."

("Thin Place" -- Celtic for where the boundary of earth and heaven are close)

Ugh Ugh Ugh:

Down with the flu -- will be back to posting on Monday, February 22.

I Wear My Sunglasses at Night:
A couple of weekends ago, I took a little trip to Harker Heights, Texas. On the way, I noticed that all the road signs were blurry. So blurry, in fact, that I couldn’t read the durn signs ‘til I drove almost past 'em! “Hmmm,” I wondered, “What is wrong with all these signs!?!”

I had an eye exam this morning. After taking my vitals and doing some preliminary vision checks, the nurse exclaimed, “And you actually drove yourself to this appointment!” Ha ha ha…

I was then escorted to a freezing cold rest area to wait for my eyes to dilate. I sat there for over an hour! (They denied it, but I think they forgot about me.) Once in the machine room, I snuggled my chin into a cold metal cup and leaned way forward… my eyes were subjected to grids with wiggly lines, bright blue lights, bright green dots, and bright white flashes. My eyeballs hurt and my head ached.

The doctor came in and summed up the results of all the tests to which I had been subjected. As I sat there blinking rapidly, I learned I wasn’t going blind; I had no signs of glaucoma, macular degeneration, nor cataracts (Thank God!). At 55, I am now near-sighted and will have to wear glasses to drive at night… and I have Astigmatism (Astigmatism? I thought it was “You have a stigmatism.”), which means that my cornea is the shape of a football instead of a baseball. In-ter-rest-ing…

They handed me a pair of lovely Rollens to wear until my eyes returned to normal. I looked hot! Just like my 93-year-old-great-aunt. What a fashion statement!

Happy Birthday, Max:

Today, my great-nephew is ten years old. I wish I knew him better. All I have are photos and stories. I know he loves the water. He loves to surf. He loves to climb to the tops of trees. He is the center of my niece and my sister and brother-in-law's lives -- 24/7. He is autistic, and such a beautiful, beautiful boy.

Blessed are those who stop and listen to my chatter. You may not understand me; but I love when people talk to me, for I long for companionship, too. Blessed are those who take my hand and walk with me when the path is rough, for I easily stumble and grow weary. But thank you, too, for letting me walk alone when the path is smooth, for I must learn independence. Blessed are those who take the time to tell me about special happenings, for unless you make special effort to inform me, I remain ignorant. Blessed are those who wait for me. I may be slow, but I appreciate your patience. Blessed are those who are not ashamed to be seen in public with me, for I did not choose to be born thus. It could have been you as well. Blessed are those who do not pity me, for I don't want pity. All I want is understanding and respect for what I have learned as well. Blessed are those who notice my accomplishments, small as they may seem to you. I must work long and hard to learn many of the things you take for granted. Blessed are those who include me in their games, even though I may not understand the rules, I still like to be included in your activities. Blessed are those who think of me as a person who loves, and hurts, and feels joy and pain just like you do, for in that respect I am normal.

Experts estimate that Autism affects 1 in 110 children; 1 in 70 boys. Autism prevalence figures are growing. For more information on Autism and/or where you can make a donation, visit these sites: Autism Speaks or Surfers Healing - A Foundation for Autism.

All By Myself:

I'm new at this living-alone stuff -- torn between liking it and hating it (notice I didn't say loving it).

When I get home from work, everything is exactly the way I left it. I don't have to pick up anyone's clothes, take a glass to the sink, or fold up the newspaper.

When I open the frig, my favorite berries are still there waiting for me, the bread is wrapped tight to keep the air out, and I don't have to shake the milk carton to see if there's enough to pour a whole glass.

When the TV is turned on -- at my pleasure -- I can flip around between Law & Order, Turner Classic Movies or Lifetime's Project Runway. I can even watch the Independent Film Channel or PBS' Masterpiece Theatre without being run out of the room. And I don't ever-never-ever have to watch NBA Basketball or Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends again!

When I shower I have plenty of hot water and take as long as I want. The shampoo bottle is standing upside down the way I left it, the soap dish actually holds a bar of soap, and the back brush is actually hanging on its hook. When I step out of the tub, the towels are folded neatly on the shelf and smell good; I don't have to pick one off the pile and sniff it before drying off.

Will I get used to this way of living or will I always miss the way it used to be... will my heart always ache? As I stand in the kitchen cooking dinner, it is quiet, profoundly quiet. I miss the noises. I miss all the lovely sounds filling our home: Miss B upstairs in her room on the computer, listening to music; Miss H lying on her bed giggling with the telephone pressed to her ear; Miss E in the girls bath cleaning up after soccer practice, dropping shoes and shinguards on the floor; my husband in the garage listening to a football game on the radio while tinkering with his tools. And now, the freshest missing -- Miss M in the den playing tea party with Bitty Baby and Cookie monster.

This is going to take some time... for right now though, I feel like Bridget Jones: "All by myself, don't wanna be all by myself anymore..."

A Hearty Warning:

Don't know if you are like me, but I know FOR SURE that in my lifetime I have constructed a very long and very wide road to hell... you know, "paved with good intentions."

So, to help those who need help -- here's your end of the month reminder/warning: Valentine's Day is only 17 days away!!! All of my Valentines live out of town so I need to get my cookies, popcorn and cards made, packed up and shipped out! And since the fourteenth is a Sunday this year, that means -- for mailing purposes -- I only have 16 days!

Recipes and card artwork to follow!

The Common Courtesy Basics:

Everyone knows the rules but I think sometimes we forget. I urge every mother to copy this and laminate it and give it to each one of your children -- boys and girls alike -- even if they are fully grown!

In case you can't read the copy above of the very, very old Tiffany & Co. newspaper ad:

There Are Times

To hold open a door,

To surrender your seat,

To thank someone, in writing,

To let bygones be gone,

To remember your parents,

To listen with care,

To surprise with a gift,

To mind your table manners,

To honor tradition,

To give voice to your heart.

Globalization:

I cannot comprehend what life must've been like for my great-great-grandmother Caroline. She was born in 1854 -- one hundred years before me.

She was born before the light bulb was invented, before the refrigerator, typewriter, chewing gum, telephone, automobile, ballpoint pen, zipper, radio, tractor, washing machine, bra, parachute, stainless steel, antibiotics, and insulin. She died before nylon and the helicopter were invented. Heck, the laser, jet engine, birth-control pill, integrated circuit and the computer weren't invented until after I was born... not to mention, pocket calculators, and videocassette recorders. Within the past thirty years, the personal computer, email, the mobile phone, the artificial heart, the internet, the world-wide web, GPS (global positioning system), DNA fingerprinting and human genome sequencing have been invented. It boggles the mind.

Caroline probably only knew, or knew of, less than 100 people in her life. And I bet she traveled less than a fifty-mile radius from her home. I think she could read and write, but I'm sure her reading was limited to a few things like the Bible and Jane Austen's books.

Today everywhere I turned, there it was... in the newspaper, on television news reports and on the computer screen... hundreds of images of a place called Haiti.

I'm thinking I'd like to live in 1854.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step:
Today is an important day. It is the start of what will probably be a very long and complex search. I am going to find myself. You see, up to now, my life has been full of compromises. I have no idea who I really am.

Hope you will come along for the ride!

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry:
Thanks for caring. Thanks for your notes of concern. Thanks for missing my musings!

I was forced to take a break from this blog. I'm fine... just super-uper busy. I'm trying to complete a commission for 8 paintings -- 8 LARGE paintings -- for my brother's restaurant. They are almost finished and I will soon get my life back.

My daughter lands on U.S. soil today at 12:30 pm. Praise God! (My son-in-law returned the Monday before Thanksgiving.) Along with their return is the upcoming separation from my granddaughter, Little Miss M. I have been her sole guardian for the past 12 months. It will be bittersweet and my blogs in 2010 will probably contain lots of issues dealing with my loneliness -- so get ready!

In the meantime, "...have yourself a Merry Little Christmas." See you again in the New Year!

Honoring All Who Served:

Veterans Day is celebrated on November 11th, the anniversary of signing of Armistice that finished World War I. The main hostilities of World War I were properly finished at the 11th hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918 with Germany signing of the Armistice. "Armistice Day" became “Veterans Day” in 1954 as a result of legislation signed by President Dwight D. Eisenhower. The name was changed to honor all who served the nation in wars or conflicts.

There are currently 24.5 million veterans in the United States -- of whom 1.7 million are women. The number of veterans who are age 65 or older is 9.5 million. There are 8.2 million Vietnam-era veterans, and 3.9 million who served during World War II.

On this Veterans Day, I want to honor a man who is honored by all the service men and women I know -- Gen. George S. Patton Jr. He was/is a soldier's soldier...

Patton Quotes:
"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived."

"Better to fight for something than live for nothing."

"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom."

"Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable."

"There is only one sort of discipline, perfect discipline."

"We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way."

"Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack."

"Always do everything you ask of those you command."

"Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood."

An Elephant In The Room:

I've decided I need an attitude adjustment. I'm in a funk. Have you ever had that kind of week? When you feel like you are free-falling into a deep hole? When you realize there isn't even a glimmer of light at the end of your dark tunnel? And you get a bad feeling that it's not going to end anytime soon? Well, that's where I am and I'm in a foul mood because of it. I am definitely not fun to be around.

It is paradigm shifting time. I woke up this morning and decided that I need a change. I refuse to waste one more moment on this gloom and doom mood. Thanksgiving -- my absolute favorite holiday -- will soon be here and I am missing all the fun of anticipating what's to come: outdoor walks in the beautiful Fall weather, once-a-year delicious Thanksgiving turkey and dressing and giblet gravy and cranberry salad, great college football, and the four-day luxury of being with those I love the most!

This morning before Miss M awoke, I sat down with a freshly brewed cup of jo and wrote a list of things that would help reframe my brain. The list ended up in two columns -- dos and don'ts. Number One on my list of "dos" was to find things that make me laugh... you know, "the best medicine." Bill Cosby's old comedy albums really crack me up... his routines can produce the laugh-so-hard-that-you-cry-and-pee-in your-pants kind of results. The Grandparents skit from the Bill Cosby Himself album, circa 1982, is epic. Surely this will jump start my change in attitude!

A Terrible Tragedy:

Fort Hood, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Candy For Troops:
Wondering what to do with leftover Halloween candy? Operation Gratitude accepts candy for American troops who use it both for themselves and to give out to the children in the communities they patrol. All types of candy are acceptable, including chocolate this time of year. Ship candy by December 5 to Operation Gratitude/California Army National Guard, 17330 Victory Blvd., Van Nuys, CA 91406, Attn: Charlie Othold.
Details are at http://www.operationgratitude.com/.