North Carolina:

In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina. Can't you see the sunshine? Can't you just feel the moonshine? Ain't just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind, and I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind (Sweet Baby James).

Back in my birth state for a wedding... such a breathtakingly beautiful place. Maybe I'll move back one day.

Tiny Bubbles:

On a fluke, I bought a bar of this soap. It was so rich and lathered up like crazy and smelled so good that I found myself washing my hands just for the pure pleasure of it! Now with the Swine Flu season upon us, I've decided to order more bars!

Refreshing Verbena Shea Butter Soap

The oil-rich nut of the Karite (Shea Butter) tree is prized the world over for its incredibly skin-nurturing and moisturizing properties. Caswell-Massey presents a triple milled, shea soap with 23% Shea Butter, more than any other soap. The creamy sensual lather will leave you flawlessly smooth, supple, refreshed and smelling of the scent of verbena. This refreshing 19th century fragrance is based on the citrus scented Verbena plant and has an overall air of insouciant charm... plus it also helps repel insects!

My Version:
Here's another salad recipe... you may have seen this one around. But this is my version... the tried-and-true-most-requested salad in my arsenal. And every single time I make it for social gatherings, people hunt me down for the recipe... seriously, no exaggeration!

Crunchy Romaine Toss

THE DRESSING
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
1 cup Canola oil
1 cup sugar
1 Tablespoon soy sauce
salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

THE CRUNCHY
1 cup pecans, chopped in large chunks
1 1/2 cups La Choy Rice Noodles (in the blue can)
4 Tablespoons butter

THE SALAD
1 head of Romaine lettuce
1 bunch of fresh broccoli, chopped
4 green onions, chopped

In a glass jar with a lid, combine all dressing ingredients. Shake very well. Refrigerate.

Saute the pecans in 2 tablespoons butter (don't let them burn!); drain well and cool on a paper towel. Saute the rice noodles in two tablespoons butter for about 2 minutes; drain well and cool on a paper towel. After they cool, gently combine.

Cut the romaine lettuce leaves horizontally in skinny pieces. Cut off the broccoli tops and chop (discard the stems). Chop the green onions in small pieces. For serving appeal, layer the lettuce then the broccoli then the green onions then the CRUNCHY. Right before serving, shake the DRESSING very well, and pour 1 cup of it onto the SALAD (reserve the rest of the DRESSING -- I put it in a pretty bottle next to the SALAD and let people add more if they want), then toss it all together. Yum!

The Talented Mr. Derain:

This is my favorite image of Henri Matisse, painted by one of his close friends, Andre Derain. Derain was a painter, sculptor, illustrator, stage designer and collector. He was a leading exponent/founding father of Fauvism. His range was truly amazing. What a talent!

September's Pick:

I'm very close to my youngest sister, but physically we're very far apart -- she lives in Northern California, I live in North Texas. We plan trips together and visit as much as possible, and we call and email each other depending on the dramas swirling around in our lives. Currently we have become members of a two-person book club that meets via telephone every Saturday morning around 9:00 am. It has been stimulating, thought provoking and downright fun to discuss books with her.

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett is her pick for September. I know, I know, this book was written in 2002... why, you might ask, am I just now getting around to reading it? I dunno, I guess I was busy in 2002. I have no idea what this book is about. Oh boy, can't wait!

Just Wondering:

Did you know that since 1985, Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships? That 25% of Americans have no close confidants, and the average total number of confidants per citizen has dropped from four to two? That modern American friendships have lost the "force and importance" of earlier times?

Why are friendships on the wane? Are we just too busy? Is it the change in our priorities? Is it because we work longer hours? Is it because for many people a job is not just a job? Have we placed more importance on our jobs, or it is because our jobs are a more important part of our identity than they used to be?

Has television replaced friendship? (ie, do you know more about this season's Dancing with the Stars contestant than your next door neighbor?) Have we stopped talking to one another? In the overuse of modern technology do we have too many casual relationships and lost the art of true friendship?

"Nothing replaces friendship: not money, power, beauty, possessions or fame." -Rita Robinson, The Friendship Book: The Art of Making and Keeping Friends; "The only thing we'll be remembered for when we die is the love we leave behind." -Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, On Death and Dying

Lock of Hair:

Above my grandmother's bed hung a frame, and underneath the glass was a picture of a painting of a baby from an advertisement. As each of her 12 grandchildren were born, she taped a lock of the baby's hair on top of the picture. Next to each lock she wrote in script our first and middle names and the dates of our births. You could tell from far away who the oldest ones were by the yellowing of the tape and the fading of the ink. Some of the locks were curls and some were straight. Some were black, some brown, and a few -- like mine -- were blond. As a young child, her bedroom was the first place I went when we visited. As I jumped on the bed to get a closer look, I would zero in on my lock of hair with "Janet Ann" next to it -- I knew just where it was located in the frame. I'm not sure why I loved it so much or why I had to look at it everytime I was there, but maybe it was because it meant family and I was an important part. Maybe it was because to me it meant that I belonged.

Keeping It Cool:

This summer, all I feel like eating is fruit and salad.

This is my current catnip:

Mesclun Salad with Citrus Dressing

6 cups mesclun (arugula, frisee, radicchio)

2 Tablespoons thinly sliced fresh basil leaves

1 Tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon juice

1 Tablespoon orange juice

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 teaspoon sugar

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

Combine mesclun and basil in a large bowl. Combine lemon juice, orange juice, oil, sugar, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Stir well with a whisk (this dressing may be made a day ahead and kept in the frig). Pour dressing over salad and toss to combine. Serve at once. Yum!

(from Weight Watchers Entertains with the Chefs of the Culinary Institute of America)

Pandora's Box:

"For whatever reason -- curiosity or malice -- she opened the box and revealed the sin. Despite how quickly she closed the lid, the sin had already escaped."

In 2004, Frank Warren began a public art project where he distributed 3,000 self-addressed postcards with instructions to write down and illustrate a secret and send it back. He stuck the cards in library books, left them on city bus seats, and in any spot where he thought they might get picked up. The only requirement was that the secret be true and that the secret had never been told before. The postcards began to trickle in, and then pour, and the deluge continues to this day, sometimes as many as 200 fill Warren's mailbox. Every Sunday on PostSecret he posts about 20 fresh secrets from all over the world.

The posts are hopeful, lewd, humorous and heartbreaking. Warren believes that his blog serves a larger purpose — that the act of designing and sending these cards is cathartic. In an interview with CNN, he said that the act of sharing secrets helps people to make changes in their lives, to become free from their past. "We think we're keeping secrets, but the secrets are actually keeping us," he said. Although the blog is fascinating, there is something unsettling about the idea of people turning first to a stranger with their secrets — a stranger who can not look them in the eye, give them a hug or help keep them accountable over the long haul.

In Telling Secrets, one of America’s foremost writers and theologians Frederick Buechner writes, "I not only have my secrets, I am my secrets. And you are your secrets ... our trusting each other enough to share them with each other has much to do with the secret of what it is to be human." By sharing our secrets, we draw closer to another human being by letting them know us in a deeper way.

Although people tend to think that in order to make friends you need to impress people with your accomplishments and skills, the reverse is more often true. When we brag about ourselves we alienate others, but when we share our struggles we invite people in. When we begin to tell our secrets, we invite those around us to share their own. As the conversation deepens, two souls lean towards each other and each feels less alone (with a nod to Jenny Schroedel).

Life Is Hard:

Two weeks from today, my oldest daughter and her husband will be flying home from Iraq. They'll spend two weeks here for "R&R" (rest and relaxation). I haven't seen my daughter in nine months -- that's hard to comprehend. She's my first born and we used to be as close as a mother and daughter can be. But on July 2, 2001, I said goodbye to all of that. I said goodbye and she boarded a plane for New York. I sat in my car in the airport parking lot and cried and sobbed and "howled" for almost three full hours (a fact that my two younger daughters can attest to -- they were sitting in the backseat.) They knew most parents cry when their children leave home for college, but they didn't understand why I was so inconsolable. They didn't understand that this was different. It was different because of the decision she had made -- the decision to attend the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. I knew that when she left, our family would never be the same. I knew that it was the end of the way we had lived our lives for 18 years. I knew that my husband and I were no longer responsible for her and that she was no longer dependent upon us. She was the Army's and it would be up to them how she lived her life and what part of it would be etched out for us.

Baking result:
Oops, sorry -- forgot to tell you how my Olive Oil Cake turned out: it didn't. I spent the weekend playing nurse to my sick two-year-old granddaughter. I'll try again next weekend!

I Want It:

Tell me I don't need it. Vintage or no, tell me to buy a new one. Tell me that owning this bike won't make me feel ten again. Tell me that the upkeep and maintenance would be more than I bargained for. Tell me that those hand grips won't feel the same. Tell me that sitting in that seat won't make me ride like the wind.

But oh I want it!

Summer Reading:

These days I don't have much time to read, but I made a deal with myself at the beginning of the summer to read at least three books -- one for each month. My pick for June was A Painted House by John Grisham (a must read). July's was Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin (an amazing and inspiring story). And now in August, I'm reading Angle of Repose. I'm not quite finished but with what I've read so far, I recommend it highly. It was written in 1972 and earned the author, Wallace Stegner, a Pulitzer Prize. There are so many things with which I can identify -- a female artist's struggles with her career vs. motherhood, a wheelchair-bound father, an ancestral home unappreciated, the "Doppler Effect," the importance of character, and the constant discovery of what it takes to make a marriage work. If you've never read it, put it on your list. It is eloquent and descriptive.

"...they clung together like two particles rolling down a hill into their future until they reached their angle of repose."

Baking This Weekend:

My sister swears that this cake is simple and oh so delicious... and she has a "super palate." So think of me on Saturday night, I'll be baking! I'll have the oven cranked up and the A/C down low. Let you know how it turns out on Monday!

Olive Oil Cake (Torta di Mandorla)

adapted from Gina DePalma

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup natural almond flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon kosher salt

3 large eggs

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon pure almond extract

grated zest of 1 medium lemon or 1/4 medium orange

1/2 cup orange juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9-inch round cake pan or springform pan and set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, almond flour, baking powder and salt to thoroughly combine, set aside. Crack the eggs into a large mixing bowl and whisk them lightly to break up the yolks. Add the sugar to the bowl and whisk it in thoroughly in both directions for about 30 seconds. Add the olive oil and whisk until the mixture is a bit lighter in color and has thickened slightly, about 45 seconds. Whisk in the extracts and zest, followed by the orange juice. Add the dry ingredients to the bowl and whisk until they are thoroughly combined; continue whisking until you have a smooth, emulsified batter, about 30 more seconds. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 30 to 45 minutes, rotating the cake pan halfway through the cooking time to ensure even browning. The cake is done when it has begun to pull away from the sides of the pan, springs back lightly when touched, and a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool for ten minutes in the pan, then gently remove it from the pan and allow it to cool completely on a rack. While the cake cools, make the glaze.

2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 cup confectioner's sugar
3 tablespoons whole milk
A few drops of fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup sliced, blanched almonds, toasted and cooled

Melt the butter over medium heat in a small, heavy saucepan. When the bubbles subside, lower the heat and watch the butter carefully, swirling it in the pan occasionally to distribute the heat. When the butter begins to turn a light tan color and smells slightly nutty, turn off the heat and let the butter sit. It will continue to darken as it sits. While the butter cools, sift the confectioner's sugar into a medium bowl. Whisk in the milk until completely smooth but thick, then slowly whisk in the butter. Taste the glaze and add a few drops of lemon juice to balance the sweetness. Stir in the toasted almonds. Spread the almond glaze onto the top and sides of the cake and let it sit until set and dry.

What To Do:

Someone in my life has shown her true colors. I realize now why I've never trusted her with my most intimate thoughts. She shared a confidential conversation. And now I know, she is not to be trusted. And I'm very uncertain as to what to do... how do I proceed? Where do I go from here? Do I confront her? Be really mean about it? Or forgive and forget? Do I move on and separate myself from her? If I end our relationship I know I will miss what she brings to the table, so I'm in a bit of a quandry.

Trust: firm belief in the honesty, reliability of another; confident expectation and hope.

Hartley:

I recently re-discovered Alice Neel. If you aren't familiar with her and her work, you should be, shame on you! She's as fresh today as she ever was. I don't hold against her all the things I am at odds with because she had a hard, hard life and was one amazing painter.

To Watch or Not To Watch:
My oldest daughter and her husband are currently deployed. They are both serving in Northern Iraq. I don’t think about their safety 24/7, but it is on my mind -- a lot -- especially in the mornings. I brace myself before opening any kind of newsfeed or news broadcast or newspaper/newsmagazine. Has an “incident” taken place near them? How many were killed? Any soldiers? Some days I just don’t have the strength to look.

It makes me wonder if all of this “instant access” stuff a good thing or a bad thing. When the internet is working over there, we correspond by email. And Skype -- although the connection is always shaky -- is a dream! There’s nothing I look forward to more than our Sunday afternoon visits. I love seeing their faces and hearing their voices -- even though they always look tired.

My mother and I have discussed and debated this subject many times. Was it was harder for the loved ones of service men and women during World War II who had little contact and sparse news, or is it harder now with every detail and up-to-the-minute report in your face?

Was ignorance better?

Hello Cowgirl in the Sand:
A dear, dear friend sent his daughter's photo to me with this tagline... now I can't get the song out of my head!!!
Neil Young was the soundtrack of my life during the summer of 1972. I was so young and my body was strong and firm and tan. I had long blond hair hanging down to my waist which was shiny from the overabundance of chlorine and sun. I drove my car with the windows down, the radio blaring and friends piled in. I was deeply in love and didn't have a worry in the world. Ah, nostalgia!

(Nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form. The word is a form of a Greek compound, consisting of νόστος, nóstos, "returning home", amd a Homeric word, άλγος, álgos, "pain" or "ache.")

Yumminess:

Goat Cheese Bites
1 tablespoon fresh flat-leaf thyme leaves
1 tablespoon fresh parsley leaves
1 tablespoon fresh tarragon leaves
1 tablespoon fresh mint leaves
1 (8-oz.) goat cheese log
1 (8-oz.) French bread baguette, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes in oil, drained and chopped
1/2 cup loosely packed fresh basil leaves

1. Combine and finely chop first 4 ingredients. Roll cheese log evenly in herb mixture; wrap in plastic wrap. Chill at least 2 hours or up to 24 hours.
2. Preheat oven to 350°. Drizzle baguette slices with olive oil. Gently press slices into 24 muffin cups in muffin pans.
3. Bake at 350° for 7 to 9 minutes or until crisp and lightly browned. Remove from oven; let cool in pans 5 minutes.
4. Spread goat cheese into baguette cups; top with sun-dried tomatoes and basil leaves.

Adapted from Tyler's Ultimate by Tyler Florence, Southern Living, January 2009

My Obsession:

I recently visited The Conduit Gallery in Dallas to view an exhibit of Rex Ray's work. What can I say about Rex Ray? To actually see his work up-close was a dream. I'm obsessed!

"Rex Ray's work both in graphics and in the fine arts completely captures the times we live in. His pieces look both backward and forward; they're decorative yet have a self-conscious conceptual framework; they're alike yet different" –Michael Paglia, Westword.

The Party Bed:
When my three daughters visit their grandmother's house, they look forward to sleeping on the "party bed." It is king-sized and soft and lumpy and old. During the hot Louisiana summers, it sits in quiet repose in the coldest and darkest room of the house like a cocoon. The old sheets that fit the party bed are as soft as only old sheets can be. Depending on how you lay, it can sleep at least ten -- which includes all ages of humans beings and pets. And because everyone can sleep together, no one is ever left out of late night, just-before-sleep conversations and story-telling and laughter. It's the kind of a bed you can "snuggle deep-down-into-the-covers" on. It's the kind of bed you can "lay-on-top-of-each-other-while-watching-old-movies" on. And now, after all these years, my Mother is thinking of replacing the party bed with a "new luxury firm Euro pillowtop, queen-size set." Being replaced is a sad thing -- especially for a party bed.